Dealing with Loss: Embracing Change and Finding Meaning

Loss is an inevitable part of life, yet each experience of it feels deeply unique, a personal journey shaped by who or what we have lost. Whether it's the passing of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or a change in life circumstances, loss often triggers profound emotional and even physical reactions. Navigating this journey isn’t straightforward, but with self-compassion and patience, we can find a way forward.

Eight years ago, I lost my father—an incredible man with a brilliant mind and an endless curiosity about the world. He wasn’t only my father but a role model with a passion for social change, a sharp sense of humor, and an impressive intellect. I miss him daily, but in that loss, I've also learned valuable lessons about life, identity, and resilience.

The Nature of Loss

From an early age, we begin to understand that things in life are not permanent. This cognitive development, known as reversibility, helps us realize that objects, people, and situations can change and sometimes return to their original state. Yet, as adults, we’re often unprepared for the permanence of major losses. According to author Mark Manson, much of the pain from loss is tied to a sense of meaning. When a meaningful part of our life is gone, it leaves a void, forcing us to reassess what gives our existence purpose. Every person we lose takes with them a “mirror” in which we saw part of ourselves, prompting us to redefine who we are without them.

Understanding the Grieving Process

Grief is a complex, non-linear experience. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross outlined five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—not as a strict pathway but as common feelings that may surface when coping with loss. Each person’s journey through grief is unique, and not everyone experiences these stages in the same way, or even at all. 

Physical and emotional responses are common and varied. Some people experience symptoms like insomnia, nausea, and fatigue, while others grapple with fear, sadness, or guilt. Acknowledging these symptoms, whether physical or emotional, is the first step in honoring the grieving process.

Taking Positive Actions

Grieving takes time, but self-care can help us move through it in a healthier way. This involves acknowledging our pain, recognizing our emotional triggers, and seeking help when we need it. Self-care isn’t only about tending to our physical needs; it's about treating ourselves with kindness and understanding. Loving and respecting yourself during this process can be transformative, helping you cope with the waves of emotion that come and go.

One of the challenges of grief is knowing when it's okay to let go. Letting go of grief doesn’t mean forgetting; it means making room for joy and new memories while cherishing those we’ve lost. This balance allows us to carry forward the meaningful experiences and special moments that will always stay with us.

Honoring Their Memory

On this day, I find comfort in revisiting my father’s memory. I look through photos, watch old videos, and read his writings. Doing so fills me with warmth and gratitude for the time we had together. These rituals remind me that love doesn’t fade—it remains in our hearts, shaping who we are and how we live our lives. Today, I celebrate his memory, grateful for everything he taught me.

In the end, loss teaches us that everything in life is temporary, and that’s what makes it precious. Embracing this reality encourages us to cherish each moment, love deeply, and live meaningfully. When we lose someone, they leave an indelible mark, a reminder of the love and lessons they brought into our lives. And as we move forward, we carry that love with us, finding comfort in knowing that they’re still a part of us. 

Further Reflections

If you’re dealing with loss, give yourself permission to grieve in your own way, at your own pace. Reach out for support if you need it, and remember that healing is not a straight line. Allow yourself to honor the memories, to feel the sadness, and, when ready, to make space for new joys.